my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
