Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm too high and old for this...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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