this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
