How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
