I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm sobbing to NWA
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
