here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm getting married
To pizza
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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