Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
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he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I see more hoeing in ur future
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