yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
