My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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