if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
