You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
