Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
