woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize