i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i wish my penis had a tongue
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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