i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
