Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Vodka?
Forever.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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