PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
