I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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