and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
