I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
