One girl and one boy is just not enough.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
