Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
