Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
