hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
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I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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