Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
