I just threw up on my dentist
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
