Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
