Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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