Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
