I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize