When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
