WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
