woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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