My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
