Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
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