I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
They have beer where we have blood.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
