My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
