Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
