sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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