This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
