She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
