1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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