I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
tequila makes me forget i have legs
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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