You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
