Non-Jews are for practice
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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