just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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