i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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