Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
