she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
