Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
you never un-have a 4some
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
