I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
