i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
