I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
