Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
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yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
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As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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