Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
