therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
whose ass print is on the piano?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
