Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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