You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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