Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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