That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
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There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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