Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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