omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
as a side note pls kill me
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
