I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
