you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
what the fuck happened to the tacos
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
