oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize