He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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